When I was 21 I went through a very painful breakup (I mean, who hasn’t?). I tested a few strategies and wrote a guide that has helped many of my friends get over a heartbreaker.
Today I’d love to share the tricks that helped me forget a guy in 10 days! If he left you and treated you like his mother, read here:
Side note: it’s really important to do these steps 1 day at a time! And yes, it really works!
Day 1
RUB IT IN
Today is the only day you are allowed to have a pity party!
Go ahead, gurl, you can trash your ex in every conversation you have, cry all day long, starve yourself or eat the whole contents of your pantry! Whatever it takes, do it! Also, feel free to put that favorite song (you know, the first one you danced with him to?) on repeat; take out all your pictures and just salivate on how good ya’ll looked together. And you know what? It’s okay to start a relationship with Ben & Jerry! Don’t forget to change your status on Facebook to reflect your new pity status!
Good songs to listen to:
Day 2
Me, Myself and I
You thought you were going to die after one day without him? Guess what? You are still here!
Today is a day to focus on you and and to get to know yourself all over again. Take advantage of today and get a new diary.
I want you to honestly think about that last relationship and what you have learned. Before the ex came into your life, who were you? What were your hobbies, your values? Where did you want to go?
By the end of the day, you’ll be surprised to see how much of yourself you compromised in order to be in this relationship.
Great songs to listen to:
Day 3
Resist
I know you are DYING to call your ex right this minute and beg him to come back. Resist!
Instead, call your best friend (you know, the one who makes you laugh and forget about your problems?). If it’s necessary, disconnect your phone, or lose it! Whatever you do, don’t give into the temptation of calling your ex.
Great song to listen to:
Day 4
The One
I know it may seem too early, but I am asking you to think about who your ideal lover would be. In your deepest, wildest dreams, who do you see yourself with? Write down a list in your new diary, and set up a vision board if you are more visual.
Great song to listen to:
Vision of Love (I know it’s old but it’s deep)
Watch the movie:
Day 5
Think Positive
There is no shame in being single! And it’s surely not a disease! Think about your new status as an opportunity to venture out and learn new things you never knew about yourself.
Take a pen and your diary and write down 5 reasons why being single is a good thing for you!
Re-read every day and you will believe it!
Day 6
You are exactly where you need to be
When a relationship doesn’t work out, you must go through a grieving period. Grief has different stages; denial, isolation, anger, depression, panic and finally acceptance. Whatever stage you are in, learn to embrace it, accept it and learn from it; it will help you heal completely.
Day 7
Mistakes
I know this was probably the hardest day for me so it will probably be the same for you. Today, you put your ego to the side; it’s time to look in the mirror and acknowledge the mistakes YOU made in the relationship with your ex. It’s pretty easy to blame someone else, circumstances, or anything at all… But blame doesn’t allow us to grow. Self-awareness is what allows us to grow, and whether you like it or not, you yourself will be the common denominator in any other relationship(s) to come.
So think about your mistakes: did you fail to make time for this person, were you afraid to be vulnerable with this person, did you take him for granted after a while…? Remember that this exercise is not to make you feel unworthy, but rather the goal is to be self-aware and grow.
Read the book:
Day 8
Olfaction
Say what? Olfaction is the sense of smell!
Did you know that certain fragrances can lift your mood and make you feel beautiful, powerful and happy?
Here are a few essential oils I have tested:
Bergamot, sage, jasmine, lemon, mint and clove oil!
Just put a few drops in your diffuser, in your bathtub, on your pillow or even in your misting spray to deodorize your home. It will make you feel high without any side effects!
Day 9
Visualize
Wake up early, go into a quiet room where you won’t be bothered, close your eyes and imagine yourself in a situation that will make you happy. What kind of relationship would make you feel happy? What would it feel like? How would you communicate with this person? Take the time to write down your vision.
Day 10
Get a prize!
You did it! you survived 10 days without your ex! Today you get to go an adventure, whatever that may be for you! Go ahead, go on a date with that guy you’ve been secretly eyeing, get a new hairdo, maybe a new hair color, or go on a shopping spree and change your style a bit!
I remember on day 10, I went to La Fonderie with my two best friends, and we celebrated friendship and new beginnings!
At the end of the 10 days you may not have completely forgotten your ex, but you’ll know yourself better, you’l be stronger and more courageous, and therefore fully equipped to achieve your vision.
I’m with you!
